Yes, that's Christina Applegate...and yes, that's Matthew Perry. But no, neither of them are good in this movie.

Back when movies first started, when you thought of success as an actor you always thought of getting signed to a multi-picture deal with one of the big studios. The goal was to become one of the many stars in the MGM or Paramount galaxy. By the time the 80’s rolled around, the big studio system was gone from movies…but not TV. And that brings us to the wonder that is NBC’s “Dance til Dawn”. While it was originally on my list, one of my most pop culture savvy friends basically demanded that I see it and I can honestly say that I’m glad she did. “Dance til Dawn” is a holdover from those big studio days when unlikely stars would team up for pictures just because they all were under contract at the same studio. You see in the 80s and 90s, NBC created a series of family friendly made for TV movies by basically taking all the TV stars they could get their hands on, putting them into a blender and serving up whatever insane smoothie of B-list stars came out. For the actors it was a chance to show audiences a different side of themselves. For audiences it was a chance to see some familiar faces doing unfamiliar things. For the studio, it was a chance to fill 2 hours of prime-time programming with mind numbing awesome TV movie goodness. It’s everything that’s wrong with Hollywood…but it’s just oh so right.

A Brief Synopsis of “Dance til Dawn”: Here comes a mish mash of every 80’s teen movie plot you’ve ever seen. It’s that prom-tacular time of year for the kids at Hoover High (alliteration is fun!) and almost everyone’s set with a date for the big night. Well, when I say “almost everyone” I mean “basically no one.” Super popular Shelley (Alyssa Milano) has recently split with huskie-eyed, mullet wearing Kevin (Brian Bloom) and has to convince her parents that she’s still going with him while secretly sneaking to the movies…where she runs in to Dan who’s hiding out at the movies so he doesn’t disappoint his dad (Alan Thicke) a bachelor/playboy/Lothario who can’t believe his son could possibly be dateless on Prom Night. Meanwhile, Angela (Tracy Gold) is shopping in what looks like the world’s crappiest Sam Goody’s with her quirky best friend Margaret (Tempestt Bledsoe in the role she was born to play) when Kevin (he of the creepy huskie eyes) quickly spies her and tells his boys that he’s taking her to the prom. Also at the mall, Patrice (hammily played by Christina Applegate) and her boyfriend/man-servant Roger (played by a seemingly mute Matthew Perry a mere 6 years before his big break on “Friends”) are plotting to become the prom king and queen. What Patrice doesn’t know is that her parents hate each other and are totally going to split up…but only after they chaperone the prom. Prom night comes and while Shelley and Dan find love at the movies, driving around town and eventually at the world’s most insanely lit makeshift mountaintop star gazing spot, Kevin and Angela find love at a “fancy” Italian restaurant, the prom and an after party all while avoiding Angela’s overbearingly religious parents (played by an off-the-rails Kelsey Grammar and curler wearing Edie McClurg). Because she’s taken her glasses off and put on a dress instead of terrible unpopular girl clothes, Angela is named the prom queen even though Patrice had designed the prom to match her dress (because that’s not crazy) and Roger eventually stands up to Patrice after she finds out that the pre-engagement ring he gave her is one step above gumball machine (because that’s not crazy either). In the end though, new couples are formed, old couples are reunited (that’s right! Patrice’s parents stay together because they once again find love at the prom just like they did all those years ago! squeal!) and Alan Thicke somehow finds it in his heart to forgive his son for not being the same kind of swingin’ cat that his old man is. It’s ridiculous, over the top and flat out hilarious without trying to be.

Why is it a PCBS? Back when I was a kid, the TV movie starring all the teen stars of the day was a bit of a phenomenon but “Dance til Dawn” is really the crowning achievement in the genre. While other TV movies had a tendency to be filled with terrible writing, terrible plots and actors shoe horned into roles they never should have played, “Dance til Dawn” did all that while simultaneously ripping off everything they could possibly think to rip off from all the teen movies that came before it.

• Crazy teen party scene from “Sixteen Candles”? Check (even used the same house for the exteriors as pointed out by an eagle-eyed viewer during our screening of this awesome flick a few weeks back).
• Teens aimlessly driving all over town in an up-all-night “License to Drive”-like scenario? That’s not Heather Graham in the passenger’s seat but they still used it (and why was it so smoky outside the car whenever we got an interior shot of Dan and Shelley?).
• “Oh Yeah” music from “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”? OH NO THEY STOLE IT! Chicka-chicka, bow bow. (I mean they also stole Edie McClurg from that movie, but who’s counting?)
• Wallflower turned pretty girl simply by getting the attention of the popular guy from “Pretty in Pink”? Blatantly stole it.
• Overly religious dad trying to keep his daughter from the evils of dancing like “Footloose”? Kelsey Grammar is no John Lithgow, but yes he’s in there.
• And many, many more!

But even with all it’s thievery, the movie is still a touchstone for the stars of the time. You know that Alan Thicke fought to get that role so he’d have a chance to play someone other than the square Dr. Jason Seaver on “Growing Pains.” Tempestt Bledsoe thought she’d be able to jumpstart a movie career with her tour de force turn as best friend Margret…even though she might as well have been playing best friend Vanessa (she’s got range!). And of course, it was a chance for three of the biggest leading ladies of 80’s sitcoms to square off and once and for all decide who’d reign supreme on the cover of Tiger Beat. Sadly, when Christina Applegate, Alyssa Milano and Tracey Gold fight…we all lose.

How does it look in the rear view mirror? If time heals all wounds, then hopefully most of the people attached to this project have long since blanked it out of their memories. Unfortunately for some, this might actually be the high water mark of their careers. The movie’s got lots of charm and tons of heart…just not a whole lot of talent to back it up. The real question is: why did the networks stop doing these sorts of cross-promotional “events” at all? Sure there were a few more teen star mash-up movies (including 1996’s “Kidz in the Woods” starring Candice Cameron and Tatyana Ali) but as a whole this sort of thing is now lost to the sands of TV history. You’d never see a made for TV movie starring all of the biggest stars from Nickelodeon and Disney Channel. I mean something like that would crush in the ratings and be a huge boon for whoever could actually organize it but no one studio has enough power to bring all the biggest stars together for any one single project (no matter how many times you get Alan Thicke to commit to being the dad or the teacher or the slightly wonky uncle who lives in the basement and collects old couches). It’s just not something we’re likely to ever see again. And maybe that’s part of the appeal of “Dance til Dawn.” It’s like seeing the stars align…it’s like seeing the B-list stars align to do one special project that was probably hyped like the opening of Capone’s vault when it first aired.

Final Thoughts: If you haven’t seen “Dance til Dawn” and you’re even remotely a fan of late 80’s TV, you should. It’s one last chance to see Kelsey Grammar before the drug problems, Tracey Gold before the eating disorder problems and Chris Young before people started asking him which isle paper towels are on. It’s worth mentioning that this movie is best enjoyed with a big group of friends who are all just as into it as you are. There’s nothing quite like giving a movie like this the Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment in a room full of people you know. The movie is awash in bad 80’s fashion, knock off music and the delightful squeaking of Edie McClurg. It’s a light-hearted teen romp that shamelessly stole everything that belongs to 80’s teen movies…including my heart.